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And you know what that means! Stressing the hell out while trying to figure out what to gift to your friends and family. But not everybody is as considerate as you are when it comes to buying presents. They can be pretty exciting, except for when they’re lame.
But, it’s the thought that counts right?
Whether it’s receiving a gift you’ve already gifted the giver, or getting something that just screams awful, we’ve all been there. We’ve all gotten some crappy gifts in our lives, but sometimes all we hope for is something that isn’t socks.
I went on a cruise in the Caribbean and brought my Dad back a bottle of spice rum with the spices in the bottle.
A couple of months later, my dad regifted me the exact same bottle for my birthday. He gave me this whole schpiel about where he found it and how special it was. I waited until he was done to remind him where he actually got it.
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My ex-wife’s grandmother once gave this little toy video slot machine game that she got from the dollar store, because she knew “I liked playing all them video games”. When she handed it to me, and before I opened it, her words were, “Merry Christmas, you’ll have to buy your own batteries for it.”
When I was 11 or 12 I got 3 separate cheap travel shaving kits from one Christmas gathering. I didn’t have any facial hair or anything.
So the third one was my worst gift ever.
I told my aunt that I liked Jack Daniels and instead of buying me a bottle of it like most people, for 3 years straight at Christmas, I’ve had Jack Daniels related presents and they’re all as bad as each other. The first year I was given a Jack Daniels lamp. Well when I say lamp, it was an empty Jack Daniels bottle with fairy lights inside. The second year I was given yet another empty Jack Daniels bottle with glitter and water inside which I had no idea what to do with. Last year I got a pair of Jack Daniels sunglasses which broke within a week. Fingers crossed I actually get a bottle with Jack Daniels in it this year.
For a secret Santa I received two of those free promotional tickets to the science museum that had already expired.
It’s a toss up between two gifts I’ve received from my in-laws.
A sheathe for a pocket knife, with no knife.
Or
A single piece of Tupperware.
When I was about 12 years old, I mowed lawns to earn a bit of money for myself, and I spent many months saving up to buy a gameboy advance. I loved this thing, and I played it incessantly for hours every day. Two months later, on my little brother’s birthday, they bought him a gameboy advance game- just the game cartridge. He didn’t have a gameboy. Needless to say, I was frustrated, because this meant that I was forced to share my gameboy with him, and when I was visibly salty about it, my parents told me to stop being selfish. It’s not that I didn’t want to share with my brother, but it was shitty that they bought him a gift that he could not use without borrowing my prized possession, and when I expressed my annoyance, they made me feel guilty about it.
At our Holiday gift exchange in 2nd grade, I got a used Halloween magazine. All pages colored, crosswords and puzzles done. I had my mum out shopping the previous Saturday for cool Hot Wheels and a nice Barbie for the 2 lucky kids who got my gifts.
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Socks and a skirt, as I then turned to see my brother open his remote controlled spy car.
My husband got 2 rolls of pennies from my Grandma for Christmas That same year she gave my mom, a non smoker, a tin of tobacco. When my mom complained she gave her a calendar that was 3 years old. My son got a hair brush wrapped in a Pringles can, he was 2 and cried because he really wanted the chips…haha. I hit the Jack pot, I got a bottle of vodka. She always gave us weird gifts it was her thing. Now that she’s gone I miss seeing what Christmas gifts she would be bringing. It was a good laugh.
In a fourth grade secret santa, I got a gold bottle opener with a little umbrella over the opener. I was like, yeah, now my beer won’t spray on me. Just what every eight year old needs.
A pinecone from a family member. It now gets passed between me and my friends as a gag gift.
A rubber Hulk Hogan figurine (it looked like it was a Christmas ornament with the loop snipped off) glued to a very effeminate toy horse. An elderly friend of the family gave it to me and wouldn’t stop mentioning how “they are supposed to look like that; that’s how it came from the store” even though I didn’t voice any doubts.
It’s also kind of the best gift I ever got.
Expired chocolate, on Christmas, from an aunt who was a chronic regifter, yet always expected expensive, top notch gifts for her children on Christmas and their birthdays.
Not only was the chocolate expired, but it was also evident that it had melted completely and resolidified. When I noticed, I went up to her with “OMG this chocolate is soooo good, you have to try it!” Infront of the whole family. I watched her unwrap a piece of chocolate and when she noticed how it looked, she was hesitant to eat it. When she looked at me, I just had a smile on my face “It’s the best chocolate ever!”. And then I watched her slowly bring it to her mouth and try to eat it. She quickly walked to the kitchen immediately afterwards.
I think I’ve only seen her once since that moment almost 9 years ago.
