But the thing is, women are familiar with a world of different things than men are. Guys generally don’t have nails long enough to break, but women do, and apparently, 95% of the time it’s because of a goddamn pistachio nut.
That’s just one weird thing too, there’s a myriad of others! Just look at these sassy, funny women on Twitter!
Hairdresser: What are your plans for the weekend?
Me: Nothing, ok? Every time nothing— natalie tran (@natalietran) August 24, 2017
hey it's me, your friend who ignores everything going on in the group text and then chimes in every six days with a single "omg"
— Ashley Fetters (@AshleyFetters) September 18, 2017
https://twitter.com/csydelko/status/909605392472092673
every time I see someone running in an airport I spiritually connect with them. like bitch I get u this my life run sweetie make that flight
— BLACK LIVES MATTER (@tanamongeau) September 18, 2017
https://twitter.com/LucyXIV/status/899174296332804096
"LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE." commands the small cushion. You whisper "I'm trying" but that only makes it angrier
— Deirdre (@figgled) August 22, 2017
my exclamation key button broke and now all my emails sound like they were written by a man
— Jazmine Hughes (@jazzedloon) August 9, 2017
I was just at a mixer and I mixed the shit out of it jk not really I talked only to who I knew then left
— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) September 17, 2017
eating almonds:
(seconds 1-3) mmmn!
(seconds 4-273) wait how do i get all this dirt out of my mouth oh god make it stop— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) August 31, 2017