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Redditors Share What Their First Blowjob Was Like & We Can’t Stop Laughing

  • By Asad Tipu
  • September 24, 2017
  • 3 minutes read

Sexual encounters can be very weird.

Especially during your first time. You have no idea what you’re doing, and you’re just trying to make do the best you can with what you’ve “seen”. And as anyone can tell you, how things are and how you see them are two very different things.

So when redditors were asked what their first blowjob was like, the answers were… Interesting.

To sum it up, it sucked.

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Source: Reddit

#1

I have never been more aware of my teeth than I was at that moment. I’d had it hyped up in my mind so much that you keep your teeth far,¬†far¬†away from the peen or it will be absolute agony that I was convinced he’d be better off sticking his dick into a spool of barbed wire.

Turns out, unless you’re straight-up chomping away at it, it’s pretty easy to keep them out of the way.

Portarossa

#2

Awkward. I had no idea how to keep my teeth from touching it. I was next to a fish tank and I felt so judged by all of the fish.

Jewzzica

#3

It fills out your mouth more than you think it would.

ThUnder_Nipps

#4

Female : Weird. I didn’t know I was gonna swallow.

Mon_kee1

#5

The first time I asked for a blowjob (which was also her first time giving) she agreed but asked me to warn her when I was about to cum. So I was fully expecting (and was totally ok with) not getting to cum in her mouth.

So when I was at that tipping point I was using all my willpower to keep from blowing my load and let out a strained “now”. A second or two passed and she was still going so I repeated it louder and she let went “mmhmm”, which is probably at that moment the hottest thing I’d ever heard in my life. She swallowed seemingly without hesitation.

Later she let me know she hadn’t planned to swallow but I guess I’d been leaking precum for awhile already so she was already accustomed to the taste, and there was enough saliva in her mouth that it wasn’t that big a deal – plus she knew I’d appreciate it, which was very thoughtful.

Edit: I have received a lot of feedback that I should have married this girl, and I want to assure you all that I did.

kermi42

#6

Oh man, I did so much research beforehand haha. I yahood it, and downloaded porn so I could study up. I practised shoving my toothbrush down my throat, for deep throat practice. I read that it’s hard on your jaw, so I chewed lots of gum to train my face muscles. I think I took notes and everything. You could probably make a Rocky type montage of my blow job training as a dorky teenager with acne and braces.

When it came to the deed, I was so nervous and I felt like I was taking an exam, and literally switched from technique to technique: mint in mouth, fizzy water, warm tea. Then sucking, swirling the head, blowing on tip, to name just a few. Deep throat, but only once lol. I think I just confused the poor guy’s penis, but he came anyway, because he was also a super inexperienced teenager.

ikuyh

#7

It was enjoyable but nothing that stands out in my mind, HOWEVER, that same night I had a dream that I was being attacked by a huge anaconda.

gooth2

#8

Terrifying, I had no clue what I was doing. The family computer was in the living room so any googling was risky. I got my tips from Cosmo. When I started humming my boyfriend asked what the fuck I was doing

jefferlewpew

#9

He was guiding me through everything so that was helpful. “Right there…just like that. All the way up and all the way down. Try not to use your teeth. Wanna try using 2 hands?” me: “my mouth is getting kinda tired” him: “you can just spit on it and stroke it for awhile with your hands—I’ll warn you when I’m getting close”

But during it I felt pretty powerful looking into his eyes and hearing him softly moan every now and then—-knowing that I was the one causing his pleasure.

expired_bagels

#10

We were both 14. We hid in the bushes somewhere. He was rock hard which scared me, and dribbled into my mouth for what felt like forever. He groaned a lot and said my name in a dying battery type of voice.

neptunesunrise

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