Mom Writes A Powerful Open Letter To Nosy Lady In Target Who Shamed Her For Spoiling Her Child

People should be ashamed of themselves before shaming others.

Has it ever occurred to you that you might have to go through the same phase in life as others? Or maybe you already have gone through it. You don’t realize what the other person is going through or how much they are enjoying their life. They don’t need your petty comments or lectures as you pass by them whenever, wherever you want.

On the contrary, a woman did just that. While Kelly Dirkes, an adoptive mom, was shopping at Target store with her adopted daughter, a lady approached her saying how “she would spoil that baby for carrying her around” and also that “the baby would never learn to be independent.” I mean, what is it to anybody if mothers carry their child in their arms or anything? Why can’t people just keep to themselves?

Just look at the adorable little angel sleeping.

Not only has Kelly adopted this one baby, but she has adopted quite a few kids with Downs Syndrome. And she decided to take this matter to Facebook to spread awareness. She wrote an open letter to that certain lady who tried to shame her in public.

Check out what she posted on her Facebook page. You’d be overwhelmed.

Here’s what she wrote in her post.

Dear Woman in Target-

I’ve heard it before, you know. That I “spoil that baby”. You were convinced that she’d never learn to be “independent”. I smiled at you, kissed her head, and continued my shopping.

If you only knew what I know.

Let’s find out, shall we?

If you only knew how she spent the first ten months of her life utterly alone inside a sterile metal crib, with nothing to comfort her other than sucking her fingers.

If you only knew what her face looked like the moment her orphanage caregiver handed her to me to cradle for the very first time–fleeting moments of serenity commingled with sheer terror. No one had ever held her that way before, and she had no idea what she was supposed to do.

If you only knew that she would lay in her crib after waking and never cry–because up until now, no one would respond.


If you only knew that anxiety was a standard part of her day, along with banging her head on her crib rails and rocking herself for sensory input and comfort.

If you only knew that that baby in the carrier is heartbreakingly “independent” –and how we will spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years trying to override the part of her brain that screams “trauma” and “not safe”.

If you only knew what I know.

If only some people knew how the world works.

If you only knew that that baby now whimpers when she’s put down instead of when she is picked up.

If you only knew that that baby “sings” at the top of her lungs in the mornings and after her nap, because she knows that her chatter will bring someone to lift her out of her crib and change her diaper.

This actually brings tears to my eyes…

If you only knew that that baby rocks to sleep in her Mama’s or her Papa’s arms instead of rocking herself.

If you only knew that that baby made everyone cry the day she reached out for comfort, totally unprompted.

Spoiling their baby is any parent’s favorite hobby.

If you only knew what I know.”Spoiling that baby” is the most important job I will ever have, and it is a privilege. I will carry her for a little while longer–or as long as she’ll let me–because she is learning that she is safe. That she belongs. That she is loved.

If you only knew…

This isn’t the first time a stranger has tried lecturing a parent in public and it’s condemnable. Share your views with us if you have ever undergone such circumstances.

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