This Mom Tweets All The Hysterical Stuff Her 7-Year Old Says And It’s My New Fav Thing On Twitter

• By Malaika Aman
• November 1, 2017
• < 1

7-year-olds can be quite quippy.

As evident by the daughter of the New York Times best-selling author and screenwriter Kelly Oxford. The sarcastic 7-year-old named Bea has captured the hearts of millions and her mother’s, of course.

Apparently, Kelly and Bea tend to talk about a wide range of topics from hookers to weed. Yes, she is really a 7-year-old. Oxford loves to share their banter on her Twitter, and we can see why.

Same. pic.twitter.com/GTLGeEATPU

— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) July 11, 2015

I feel you!

7yr old "Do women get their periods on weekends too?"
Me "Yes"
7yr old mutters to herself "Jesus Christ"

— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) November 20, 2015

This girl knows what she wants.

Waiter: You finished dessert fast; want anything else?
Bea 7yo: No thanks (Whispers to self) kinda weird to ask that after serving dessert.

— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) May 22, 2016

I mean geez! How do you expect her to remember everything?

Bea: Can you quiz me on my book "A Dog Tail"
Me: How long's the tail?
Bea: No idea.
Me: Dog's name?
Bea: I ONLY READ THE BOOK ONCE, GOD!

— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) May 22, 2016

I am quite sure that makes me a bad person, But I agree wholeheartedly.

7YO singing along to Beyonce's HOLD UP, stops, whispers..
"I'm so glad Beyoncé wrote this song. I'm so glad her husband cheated on her."

— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) April 28, 2016

At least she is honest.

7yo says things to shock me. She just said, "I'd like to go to heaven but you can't smoke weed there." I stayed cool, this will escalate.

— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) March 17, 2016

I can’t believe either.

7yo "They have night cameras on Survivor? Guess they can't have sex"
Me "I can't believe you said that.
7yo "I can't believe I did either."

— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) March 5, 2016

Can’t believe she is much more cooler than me.

7yo said "My 2nd best friend at school is McDreamy's daughter on Grey's Anatomy." in case you were wondering what it's like to live in LA.

— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) February 28, 2016

Probably should lock my doors at night.

7yr old daughter walked in the room, casually confirmed, "You have to have a backstory to why you're evil, right?" And walked out.

— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) January 24, 2016

She already has her whole life planned.

"I'm going to go on the Bachelor. If he's gross, I'll tell him & walk off. If they don't let me leave, I'll make him hate me." 7yo daughter

— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) January 19, 2016

Well, In his defence, Mortal Combat is only an animation.

Son "I want to play Mortal Combat; it isn't too violent for me."
Daughter "You threw up when we watched Gone Girl."

— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) January 16, 2016

It is quite clear by the above conversation between Bea and her mother that kids like her will someday rule this world. Do you have a child? If so, do you have any of their stories to share? Comment on below and let us know!