Why This Mom Would Not Force Her Daughter To Hug Her Grandma

Learning The Meaning Of Consent Is Very Important.

I get that we want to be polite and not seem rude. However, sometimes this politeness can take the turn for the worst. It is imperative to learn to say no. To not give into everything. Because that can have serious implications later in life.

However, we wouldn’t have ever thought of applying this sentiment to young kids. We always seem to think that urging our little kids to kiss or hug relatives is polite. We never stop and ask our children consent, do we?

To top it all off, even 4-year-old kids these days are brilliant and know what they want most of the time. Katia Hetter set out to teach her 4-year-old the meaning of consent.

“I would like you to hug Grandma, but I won’t make you do it.”

Via iStock

Irene van der Zande, co-founder of Kidpower also chimed in this discussion. He also seemed to agree with Katia.

“When we force children to submit to unwanted affection in order not to offend a relative or hurt a friend’s feelings, we teach them that their bodies do not actually belong to them because they have to push aside their feelings about what feels right to them.” Van der Zande said.

Hetter’s article soon went viral as more than 170,000 people shared it. The central message behind it is as follows.

I Am 5.
My body is my body.
Don’t force me to kiss or hug.
I am learning about consent and your support on this will help me keep myself safe for the rest of my life.

Katia Hetter taught her daughter an important lesson with a very simple phrase: “I would like you to hug Grandma, but I…

Geplaatst door A Mighty Girl op Dinsdag 18 oktober 2016

This Article Also Spiked An Interesting Discussion.

Some agreed with the sentiment and encouraged the idea while some did not fully appreciate it.

I am always uncomfortable when people I know insist the child give me a hug if the kid doesn’t offer it leave it. When this happens I suggest a high 5.

Judy Sheridan

As a person who works at a sex offender treatment facility and with most of the offenders being family members, some of you need to rethink this notion of teaching your child to comply with family members wishes. Normalizing physical affection against their wishes is setting children up for failure.

Many of you need to look up who the majority of offenders are. They aren’t the people walking down the street. Majority are those who we would least suspect. This article is speaking of empowering children to be able to tell someone “no I don’t like that”.

Many would be surprised to see that little ones rarely differentiate between mom told me to be nice to this person or to give this person a kiss vs this person shouldn’t be asking me for a kiss or touching me when I don’t like it.

Kisha Harp

So are you saying you should not tell your kids to hug and kiss their grandparents hello and goodbye? Or their aunt and uncles? I grew up having to give all my family members a hug or a kiss when we saw them and I grew up fine!

Rhys Greenaway

What do you think of the above campaign? Do you support it or is it going too far?

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