This Guy Hilariously Mocks Annoying Fitness Bloggers’ Instagram Accounts, Including His Own Girlfriend

• By Sara Salman
• August 15, 2017
• 8 minutes read

If you’re on Instagram, you have probably come across a million Fitness Bloggers by now.

They’re everywhere. Everywhere. 

This is Amy Hopkinson.

C O N T E N T… high on beach life and good times. I think I’ve found that headspace I’ve been looking for. Happy weekend everyone ☀️✌?

A post shared by Amy Hopkinson (@wellness_ed) on Jun 11, 2017 at 2:37am PDT

Yes, you guessed it right! She is a fitness blogger!

She is also a gym instructor and Lululemon ambassador, as you can tell by her body.

T R A N S F O R M A T I O N… this is often defined by weight loss, or how lean you look but for a big change to really last you need to focus on shifting your behaviour, trust me.⠀ .⠀ .⠀ My goals:⠀ 1. Not waking up at 2am + 3am EVERY night ⠀ 2. Not smiling on the outside when feeling drained on the inside ⠀ 3. Easing stomach cramps⠀ 4. Being less distracted ⠀ .⠀ .⠀ Changes I made above ??⠀ .⠀ .⠀ It’s taken 7 months for me to really appreciate the small daily changes. For example, not allowing myself to look at social media until I’d taken ’10 minutes for me’ seemed crazy in the beginning, now it allows me to focus before I get lost in the digital world.⠀ .⠀ .⠀ No more ☕️ on an empty stomach has helped stop wind (TMI? Sorry) and eating breakkie before training has increased my power in the gym, plus then I’m taking @udoschoiceUK microbiotics how they’re meant to be. Anyone else washed down supplements before reading the label?! You could be making them less effective ??‍♀️⠀ .⠀ .⠀ Go to my story for the rest of my morning routine ✌?⠀ ⠀ #morningroutine #ad #udoguthealth #udoschoiceuk

A post shared by Amy Hopkinson (@wellness_ed) on Jul 18, 2017 at 11:51pm PDT

She has over 25000 followers, and her account is filled with motivational quotes.

Pull-ups? Push-ups? 12.5 sprints? Let’s get them goals. #mondaymotivation #workoutmotivation

A post shared by Amy Hopkinson (@wellness_ed) on Mar 26, 2017 at 11:36pm PDT

Diets.

Fancy @tesco grains base + @iceland tuna ? + tenderstem = winning at the post fight club nutrition (health editor much?!) #whatieat #grainbowl

A post shared by Amy Hopkinson (@wellness_ed) on Feb 12, 2017 at 10:41am PST

And of course, pictures showing off her amazing body!

Computer off. Phone going in bag. Time for Big Retreatin’ with @hirstlucie @kathryn_fielding + pals ??‍♀️??☀️ . . . (if only my stupid burned mouth would heal so I don’t have to blend all my dinners like a 90-year old) #escapetothecountry #retreat #fbf

A post shared by Amy Hopkinson (@wellness_ed) on Mar 31, 2017 at 10:04am PDT

Aaaand this is her boyfriend, Edward Lane.

FULL DISCLOSURE // OK, so my stag do wasn’t as wellness as I thought. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned from the amazing people on here it’s that I’m not going to beat myself up about it. 50 pints in a weekend with your mates is nothing to be ashamed of. It was ?. Did you know in just a few days your liver can reboot itself? Our bodies are amazing. And while most of the time it’s our job to look after them. Right now I’m asking it to look after me! So hear I am. Owning it. I may have lost a couple of abs, but downing this nutritious red juice is helping me through my hangover and helping me get back on track for the week ahead. Wish me luck! Oh, and I’ve been away from the ‘gram for too long!! Im sorry. I’m sure you’ve all missed me ?

A post shared by Wellness Ted (@wellness_ted) on Jun 5, 2017 at 11:45pm PDT

His Instagram is equally as glorious as Amy’s.

OM A MISSION // Since joining the upper echelons of Instagram’s wellness influencer community I’d been finding it progressively harder to practice what I preach. A full diary of protein launches, avocado brunches, selfies, workout classes, selfies, gym openings, yoga retreats and selfies had a dramatic effect on my anxiety levels. And despite my online persona, I was struggling for headspace. Which is why I’ve started meditating. It’s a brand new trend. Everyone’s talking about it. Sure, some nerds will tell you it’s been around for 3500 years, but what do they know? Right now it’s one of the hottest wellness trends and I really doubt the yogis of ancient India had iPhone apps (duh) so they clearly weren’t doing it right, anyway! Since checking in with myself for 5 minutes a day my cortisol levels have plummeted and I’m feeling more zen than ever. My advice? Focus on you. Make time for self-love (Gross. Not like that. Perv) because at the end of the day wellness and the route to happiness is about putting yourself ahead of all others. Worried this will come across as selfish? Put a good filter on your pic and people will call it inspiring ?

A post shared by Wellness Ted (@wellness_ted) on Jun 29, 2017 at 5:31am PDT

Mocking fitness bloggers, including his girlfriend, in the best way possible.

‘GRAM GOLD // This post is everything. Here I get to show you both sides of me with just the smallest repositioning of my leg. On the left, in the classic “unposed” or “reality” set-up, I can show you just what a normal person I am with my flat ass and soft bits. However – On the right, in the “posed” or “Instagram” hip-pop position I’ve used angles and lighting to look sexy AF. And the best part is I can get away with it without people thinking I’m only about DAT ? LYF because it’s off-set by how goddamn inspiring I am being next to it. Win-win. Try this influencer hack and see both your sex appeal and credibility hit ??

A post shared by Wellness Ted (@wellness_ted) on May 20, 2017 at 12:11am PDT

Wellness Ted is pretty much my spirit animal.

PROGRESS // I’m so proud to show you how far I’ve come this year – 2017 has been a #wellness whirlwind, but I’ve managed to keep my feet on the ground and strive everyday to be the best version of myself while pursuing my passions. Cheese-covered or otherwise! This progress has all been made possible through rigorous face yoga sessions, regular foam rolling of my jaw to work on my mobility, as well as harnessing the power of positive mantras (difficult to say with a mouthful of @mcdonalds!) It’s posts like these that I try to show you past all the glamour of six-pack abs and perfect pink activewear, and a glimpse of all the hard work that goes into healthy living. Perseverance pays off for everyone, and if I can do it, so can you!

A post shared by Wellness Ted (@wellness_ted) on May 6, 2017 at 5:41am PDT

He finds the whole “fitness blogger” concept hysterical. Here is what he told Mashable:

All of a sudden I was having to stand on the sofa behind her to get a good angle of some porridge unsanitarily close to her feet, or awkwardly skulk behind her to avoid being caught on her morning story. I thought the whole thing was insane. Literally hundreds of people were double-tapping a picture of my girlfriend eating salad – it made absolutely no sense to me. But most of all it cracked me up. 

So, just to make people see how ridiculous bloggers look behind their “perfect” selfies, he made an account named @wellness_ted, which is basically an imitation of his girlfriend’s account @wellness_ed. He explains on Instagram that he is “an Unqualified PT, Knowledge-free Nutritionist.”

He shows off his diet, too.

When hangovers and #mealprep have a beautiful baby…

A post shared by Wellness Ted (@wellness_ted) on Apr 23, 2017 at 10:11am PDT

PREP MAKES PERFECT // People don’t realise the hard work that goes into looking as lean as I do. Achieving 23% body fat and a set of pen-drawn abs requires forward thinking. Which is where meal prep comes in. Here you’ll see what that effort can get you – just 14mins at 200c can bake you 5 lunches filled with protein, fishy brain food and enough quick release carbs to fuel your post-work #HIIT session.

A post shared by Wellness Ted (@wellness_ted) on Apr 4, 2017 at 1:02pm PDT

And he posts his own kind of “motivational” quotes.

#mondaymotivation // Trying hard isn’t cool. Didn’t you learn anything at school? Just be yourself – no matter how hard you try it’ll probably make absolutely no difference at all. So give up. You do you, girlfriend. Now tag your friend and let them know how much you support their mediocrity.

A post shared by Wellness Ted (@wellness_ted) on May 15, 2017 at 6:56am PDT

A post shared by Wellness Ted (@wellness_ted) on May 10, 2017 at 11:03pm PDT

And progress pictures.

6PACK SECRETS // While so-called experts would have you believe this kind of transformation takes months I’ve got some good news – it takes 30secs. Sure transformation plans promise better health, but when you’re thirsty for likes, followers and – let’s be honest – your first #spon post, the sooner those abs pop on screen the better. Well, allow me to share the insider secrets I’ve learnt since becoming the ‘grams hot new #microinfluencer (don’t say I’m not good to you ?). The trick is to spend hours and hours taking selfies, working out the exact angle and filter (Clarendon, duh!) that best defines your 6-pack. Swap from a T-shirt to sports bra to fool others into thinking you’ve been in the gym. Finally tense so hard that you may or may not fart and take the snap. Post it and watch the praise come in. Because what’s the point getting your body out of strangers on the internet can’t tell you how pretty you look, right? And today I’m feeling pretty! Try it and tag me in so we can all support each other on our own journey.

A post shared by Wellness Ted (@wellness_ted) on Apr 26, 2017 at 12:20am PDT

Here is more of his wonderful work:

PROGRESS // On the left – unhealthy. On the right – healthy. At the start of the year I thought the only way to get abs was being restrictive with my diet. Pizza was on the menu – but only in bite size pieces. And, as you can see from the look on my face, I wasn’t happy about it! And then all of a sudden I discovered the WHOLE FOODS DIET. Before that I never knew what whole foods really meant – and then I realised it just meant ALL OF IT. And I’ve not looked back since. For months I’d been enviously scrolling Instagram seeing lean influencers photographing and talking about all the amazing treats they squeeze into their nutrition plans – doughnuts, popcorn, chocolate, peanut butter, chocolate AND peanut butter – while still looking fantastic. Initially I thought they were all a bunch of phoney liars. Taking a picture of doughy goodness before turning to a plate of leaves. But now I know that, contrary to some people’s concerns, everything you see on social media is genuine and real *breathes sigh of relief* And it turns out there’s some science behind it too. Research conducted by the esteemed Dr Oetker – an expert in the field – found that refusing to slice up your pizza and eating it whole means your body has to work harder to break it down. This slowing of digestion prevents the insulin spikes associated with weight gain and helps you to feel fuller for longer, preventing snacking. Now that’s what I call an upper crust health tip! Lunch, anyone?

A post shared by Wellness Ted (@wellness_ted) on Jun 22, 2017 at 5:16am PDT

DOWNWARD DOGGING // New trend alert! Hotdog Yoga. It’s like hot yoga, but the main sweats you’ll get are of the meat variety. And, clean eaters, don’t worry about these dirty dogs – the metabolism boost you get from a strong flow is more than enough to make this post-class nutrition calorie neutral. Why not try it this weekend? Happy dogging everyone!

A post shared by Wellness Ted (@wellness_ted) on Jul 7, 2017 at 5:49am PDT

WOKE UP LIKE THIS // #nofilter needed when you get 8 hours sleep! Feeling so refreshed, no need to get up in the middle of the night for a wee – I slept all the way through and now I feel amazing. If you’re struggling to sleep, try getting more magnesium in your diet by snacking on some delicious spinach before bed. It’ll help you drop off quicker and improve sleep quality. Turn your standard 6 hours into a full 8 and the effects on your skin are incredible, as I’ve found out. But beauty is more than skin deep and today I’m feeling energised and beautiful on the inside too. Definitely woken up with that #FRIYAY feeling ??

A post shared by Wellness Ted (@wellness_ted) on Jul 21, 2017 at 12:21am PDT

And the best part is, Amy enjoys it too!

WHO WORE IT BETTER? // Best of luck to my ultimate abs-piration @wellness_ed at today’s @lululemonuk #sweatlife festival. She may need to work on the shading in of her six-pack, and she definitely envies my leggy blonde pins, but she’s gonna knock her #wellnessmindset talk about the park today in front of 300 people (literally ???). You’re a fucking legend, gonna be super proud, blah blah blah more lovey bollocks not suitable for public consumption. . And yes, I will be there. And yes I will be wearing my abs. Obvs.

A post shared by Wellness Ted (@wellness_ted) on Jul 22, 2017 at 2:16am PDT

Great job, guys! Keep doing what you love!