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Expressive Doggos Getting Human Profiles Is What You Need To See Today

Expressive Doggos Getting Human Profiles Is What You Need To See Today

  • By Silas
  • December 16, 2018
  • 5 minutes read

Can dogs be good humans?

It’s pretty funny if you imagine dogs walking on two legs like us. They would be much slower than they are on four legs, I’m sure. These thoughts make me wonder what would it be like if dogs lived in humanoid form. Well, that’s not something that has ever happened for real. However, in the world of imagination, it’s a different story altogether!

The amazing BuzzFeed illustrator Maritsa Patrinos re-imagined dogs like humans, and it came quite close to reality. Look at these humanised dog profiles and judge for yourself.

1. Bella

Age: 11 years
San Diego, CA

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“Bella is the biggest diva you’ll ever meet. She doesn’t listen when anyone calls her name, but she wants all of the love and scratches in the world. She likes to sleep on pillows, so if she’s sleeping in bed with you, she’ll take your pillow as her own. She also likes to stand up like a meerkat.” — Amanda Aguilar

2. Butch

Age: 4 years
Fairfield, CT

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“Butchy is a stoic Aquarius who likes personal space, solitary beach walks, and cheese sticks. He’s a huge mooch and will beg for any and all food, especially pretzels. He can often be found sunbathing or denying affection to family members who aren’t his mom.” — Syd Robinson

3. Captain

Age: 5 years
Arlington, TX

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“Captain is a delicate soul who is a picky eater and generous friend. He is a sophisticated man who loves cheese and contemplating the existence of squirrels. His favourite pastimes include binge-watching Bravo shows, playing hard to get, and falling asleep to improv-comedy podcasts.” — Clark McCaskill

4. Duck

Age: 11 months
Brooklyn, NY

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“Duck is our young, handsome boy. He’s a Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever, but he’s never been to Nova Scotia, never met a duck, doesn’t know what ‘tolling’ means, and can’t retrieve to save his life. He’s sweet, gentle, and always aims to please — but if he doesn’t get his zooms out, he’ll sprint around our small Brooklyn apartment knocking everything over that isn’t nailed down. On the flip side, if he’s depleted his zoom resources, he’s the cuddliest boy you’ll ever meet. If there’s a sock in a four-mile radius, he’ll find it.” — Kristin Rossi

5. Evie

Age: 11/12 years
Brooklyn, NY

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“Evie has SO MUCH spark, even though she’s technically a senior — you really can’t tell in her mannerisms since she’s still so energetic, but her increasing number of white dog hairs gives her away. She loves food and people so so much. She’s got endless energy for walks and hiking, but as soon as we’re inside, she’s so cuddly and loves huggin’ on people. People also really seem to love her coat; she has very beagle-y markings on her face, but her body has these amazing splotches and speckles, so we think she’s def a mix of something else. Her favourite snacks are peanut butter, apple slices, and carrots.” — Karen Hobowsky

6. Goldie

Age: 1 year
Austin, TX

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“Goldie is very playful and LOVES to fetch. She likes to be outside and is very social among other dogs. Sneaky behaviour includes eating all of our toilet paper.” — Kari Edick

7. Hudson

Age: 3 years
Tarrytown, NY

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“My dog, Hudson, is funny — his eyebrows make him constantly look unimpressed/sceptical. He is also very reserved and quiet, so for a long time I wasn’t sure he liked us, but he is constantly crawling into my lap on the couch, so I’m pretty sure he does!” — Kate Zasada

8. Jax

Age; 3 years
Tolleson, AZ

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“Jax is certainly a unique one, and she’s been through A LOT. Shortly after getting rescued from wandering the streets, she got parvo. Luckily, her humans caught it very quickly, and she beat it and showed it who’s boss! She’s very picky about her food, and she doesn’t go to you when it’s time to eat — you have to go to her. She refuses to sleep unless it’s under a blanket and she doesn’t even THINK about starting her day until it’s at least 10:30 a.m. And when she’s feeling intimidated, she gets a big bump on the back of her neck. Do NOT mess with her.” — Chris Peña

9. Max

Age: 13 years
Madison, WI

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“Max is a very sweet lil’ old man who craves attention, but hates when people enter through the front door of houses! He loves going on boat rides and wearing his doggy life vest while swimming.” — Nikki Francois

10. Ollie

Age: 2 years
New York, NY

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“The two words that best describe Ollie are sassy and snuggly! He can be very spunky — he loves to race around the apartment while we throw all of his toys for him. But sometimes, he snuggles in my lap just hoping to get all the pets. He particularly loves running through Central Park. He’s a very active pup with all his hiking adventures!” —Margo Lyga

What do you think of these human profiles of doggos?

You can always let your thoughts known in the comments. Also, tell us what kind of a human your dog would make?

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