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10+ Brutally Honest Confessions From Cruise Ship Workers That Will Make You Feel Better About Your Job

If you are planning to go on a fun cruise vacation, this is a must read!

You’ll be surprised at the amount of work these people have to do and the hours they put into maintaining the hospitality yet remain sane. It’s not easy to put up with thousands of guests, all of different age and moods.

From boarding the ship to sleeping in shared rooms, eating leftovers and pooping in the corridors, these people shared their experiences about being on a ship, and some of them are really weird.

Confession #1: Tiny, tiny shared cabins.

Low-ranking crew members share tiny cabins with up to three other people, with only a thin curtain to give them a bit of privacy. But that doesn’t stop people bunk-hopping and getting jiggy with each other in the night. You just have to pretend to be deaf.

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Confession #2: Single rooms are tiny, and you’re fortunate if you get one!

They’re barely larger than the size of a single mattress, but the crucial thing is, they’re private, and only officers tend to be given them, which gives them a bit of glamour. TL;DR, if you have your own room, you’re going to get laid big time.

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Confession #3: You never know if it’s morning or night.

It’s very rare for a crew cabin to have a porthole. You spend so much time below decks (or in windowless dining rooms or kitchens working strange hours) that you sometimes forget what daylight is, and we never, ever know what day of the week it is.

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Confession #4: We get drunk and party really hard too.

We get wasted all the time, as the crew bar is so cheap. We can get beer for $1 and a bottle of wine for $3. We’re not allowed spirits, but that doesn’t stop people smuggling them on board in mouthwash bottles: all you have to do is add some blue food coloring to vodka. Oh, and we blame our hangovers on seasickness.

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Confession #5: There’s no real food left for the staff members.

It’s a myth that we’re made to eat the paying guests’ leftovers, but our meals do vary wildly depending on what’s available. We tend to get a lot of white rice, weird pink desserts, and sometimes make do with sardines and flaccid pasta. It’s not great.

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Confession #6: People are having sex here and there all the time.

Please guys, if you want to have sex, do it in your cabin, and not in lifeboats, under tables, or in the pool. It might seem like there’s no one around, but there are cameras everywhere, and the people who review the CCTV really don’t want to see a drunk couple from Liverpool doing it doggy style next to the ice cream bar.

Comedy Central

Confession #7: Better accommodation and better pay, but it all comes at a price.

Luxury cruise staff are expected to learn all of the passengers names, and there can be up to 800 people on board. It’s so difficult. And if you do forget someone’s name they often get pretty damn annoyed; they expect a special, personalised service.

AB Svensk Filmindustri

Confession #8: The crew and other staff members get hit on all the time but unfortunately can’t hook up with the guests.

It does happen, but if you’re caught that’s it: you’re instantly fired and dropped off at the next port or island the boat docks at next. And there’s no guarantee the cruise line will give you the money to get home. You might end up stuck in Nassau for a month while you plead with them to release your final paycheck.

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Confession #9: Titanic is real, Jack and Rose are not!

First of all, they’re not real. Second of all, please stop asking, it’s really annoying.

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Confession #10: Yes, ships do sink just like Titanic.

Storms can be scary, and some can even make tables fly around, but these boats are the size of a small island, and they really are virtually unsinkable. So, again, please stop quoting Titanic at us and just settle down and enjoy your cocktail.

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