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Church Of Satan Just Destroyed Christianity On Twitter With One Brutally Savage Tweet And We’re Here For It

  • By Asad Tipu
  • November 16, 2017
  • 2 minutes read

If you thought politics was going to leave you alone,

You are sadly mistaken. Today, instead of Trump vs Whoever He Pissed Off This Week, it’s actually Christianity vs Satanism. Or Church Of Satan as they prefer to be called. And no, they aren’t heavily tattooed people with dreads and blast metal music.

They’re actually pretty decent people. Following the Paris attacks, a lot of Muslims feared going outside because of the backlash, and the Church Of Satan offered their services to whoever needed it.

If there is anyone in the Minneapolis area who is Muslim and afraid to leave their home out of fear for some kind of backlash, don’t hesitate to reach out to us.

We would be glad to escort you where you need to go without advertising our presence – just big dudes walking you where you need to be. We would also happily accompany you so you can get some groceries.

They’ve got their own set of rules and everything.

Church Of Satan’s official website reads as follows:

Founded on April 30, 1966 c.e. by Anton Szandor LaVey, we are the first above-ground organization in history openly dedicated to the acceptance of Man’s true nature—that of a carnal beast, living in a cosmos that is indifferent to our existence.

To us, Satan is the symbol that best suits the nature of we who are carnal by birth—people who feel no battles raging between our thoughts and feelings, we who do not embrace the concept of a soul imprisoned in a body.

He represents pride, liberty, and individualism—qualities often defined as Evil by those who worship external deities, who feel there is a war between their minds and emotions.

As you can imagine, other religions don’t take too kindly to them. Nor they to them.

In comes Roy Moore.

He’s been accused of sexual misconduct with women when they were below eighteen years of age. It’s controversial because they consented the relationship and revoked consent later, and because Moore’s a popular candidate for Senate.

So Danny Branchflower tweeted about how there were some priests who were defending him, and rejected them entirely.

To which the Church Of Satan had one response.

And as savage as that is, I can’t be the only one who thinks they have something against Christianity specifically, can I? What do you think? Is the Satanic Church savage heroes that shut them up, or are they basically the same thing they claim to be so against, just in a different dress?

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