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10+ Parents Shared How They Found Out Their Child Is No longer A Virgin And It’s Hilarious

  • By Asad Tipu
  • January 23, 2018
  • 6 minutes read

I can’t imagine it being easy for parents to find out when their child lost their virginity.

It must be an awkward to have. Can you imagine the people who watched someone go from a baby to an adult and wrestle with the knowledge that this person has done the deed?

It’s about as hilarious as it is cringeworthy. These people, over at Reddit, shared their most intimate stories of how parents reacted when they found out about their children having sex. It’s so amusing.

#1 Relocated.

After my family and I relocated, my parents found out I was having sex when the gf’s mother left a voicemail threatening to sue me for having sex with a minor.

We were both the same age and it was certainly consensual. Although they were disappointed in hearing it in THAT context, they weren’t too upset. They only emphasized the importance of protection and that was the end of it.

guiding_blind

#2 Medical.

I overheard my mom helping my sister fill out a medical checklist for whatever. Mom was holding the pen and filling out the answers while reading them out loud. She was rushing it because she was bored. Paraphrasing:

Do you have any blood diseases? No. checks a box

Are you allergic to any common foods? No. checks a box

Are you sexually active? No.

Sister quickly interrupts with an awkward but resolute “yes”

Silence

zyygh

#3 Barged in brother.

My mom found out one day when she called the house looking for me. My brother, instead of knocking on my door, just barged into my room and found me balls deep in my girlfriend at the time. He went “hold on a second he’s having sex” and left the phone on the floor.

Thanks bro.

He was 3 years younger too, and most definitely a virgin. The nonchalant way he said it was frightening.

noodle-face

#4 Adorable.

Preeetty sure things were gonna happen when he asked if his friend could spend the night while I worked night shift. His friend was a girl. They were 15 or 16, not sure what age.

They were sleeping in a pile on the couch (clothed) when I came from work, I didn’t disturb them, I just went to bed. When I woke up later they were still sleeping but now on opposite sides of the couch.

It was adorable.

isperfectlycromulent

#5 Virgin until married.

When I was in HS, I told my mom I was going to stay a virgin until I was married. She did a little snort laugh & said, “Yeah, sure, honey.”

When I lost it in college & called her, she said, “I told you so, sweetheart.”

fearlessandinventive

#6 Birthday number fourteen.

On my 14th Birthday I’d had a girlfriend for close to 4 months. We were as serious as kids our age could be.

So I’m opening presents in front of the few friends I had over and I come to a medium sized box. I shake it. Cant figure it out. So I tear it open. . .

. . . And find an economy box of condoms. Everyone there, dad, sisters, girlfriend, friends, friends parents. . . Everyone was speechless.

My mom casually says: “I’m not ready to be a grandma. Happy birthday, son.”

JaySavvy

#7 McDonald’s cup.

Child 1 – He had stashed his used condoms in a McDonald’s cup in his closet, still filled with coke. I found out by removing the lid to dump it out.

Child 2 – She asked permission.

k-laz

#8 Squeaky beds.

Not a parent, but I will tell you guys my story for when my parents found out I was no longer a Virgin.

(backstory) So as an 18 year old guy I had a girlfriend I met in high school. And we were together for quite some time.

As i am European I don’t have to deal with overly religious parents. So I got that going for me. My parents are quite laidback and we speak freely to each other. eg. If I said that I think a guy is a piece of shit motherfucker I can say that without my parents having to say I shouldn’t cuss.

Back on topic. In Denmark it is quite normal for teen couples to sleep over at your gf/bf’s house. So I did that with my then GF a lot. We slept at each others places maybe 3-5 days a week.

But one episode stands out, as to when my parents found out is this: I had my girlfriend over and we were going to my bedroom in the basement. (Parents just above mine) and I had a squeaky bed. So the next morning at breakfast my dad just blurted out: Damn son we gotta tighten your bedpost. Embarrassing…. but funny in retrospect.

MrNicestGuy1

#9 Mother came in.

Her mom came home early one day. We didn’t have the door locked and she saw me bare assed on top of her daughter.

She screamed at us both and demanded that I get out of their house.

We never really recovered from that incident and eventually broke up on good terms.

Youonlythrowawayonce

#10 Lesbian.

My mother found out I wasn’t a virgin anymore when she found the strap-on that I had accidentally left in the bathroom… -.-

Background: I’m a girl who is dating a girl!

emilyteebo

#11 Longer lasting.

Went camping for the weekend, leaving my son (17 at the time) at home alone.

When we returned, he waited until his mom was inside the house and said, “Dad. I had sex this weekend.”

I took a deep breath and asked, “Did you use protection?” He answered yes, and we talked a bit about the circumstances. After all was talked about, he asked, “Dad. One more question. Will it last longer?”…..I tried to not laugh…..

gemiddie

#12 Ahem.

I was having sex with my girlfriend when I was 16 in my bedroom, because we had a half day from school and I didn’t think my mom was gonna be home.

We lived in a tiny apartment, the walls were paper thin, and my room was right by the apartment door. Sure enough, my mom decided to do something she never does and came home for lunch, and heard us going at it (I was facing the window in missionary, my girlfriend was facing the doorway).

She walked in, did the whole “ahem” thing, and we both just stopped dead in our rhythm. I craned my neck around and saw my mom shaking her head and snickering.

She let us get dressed, and then we went out into the living room and sat down on the couch to talk. She said she had figured we were having sex before this whole thing happened, but wasn’t positive until she walked in on us. She said she didn’t care as long as we were careful and used protection.

The reason this was so shocking was that my mom was from Ireland and was a pretty strict Roman Catholic. The fact that she was perfectly okay with it was completely unexpected. I don’t think it could have gone any better.

thatguyfromnewyork

#13 She knew.

Not a parent, but my mum found out cause I was bragging about it to my mates whilst playing the Xbox 360 back in high school.

My room was right next to the kitchen (just where she was at the time) and she overheard.

Next day she bought me a pack of condoms as her way of letting me know she knew.

Deroule

#14 Proper procedure.

My son nailed the hottest chick in his class, I got him a steak dinner and a trip to the amusement park.

TheHorsesWhisper

#15 Improper condom disposal.

My dad found out when he used my truck to go fishing and found condom wrappers on the seat.

My mom found out when she walked in on it because she doesn’t know how to knock and goes straight to popping the door lock with a pin if it doesn’t open.

My nephew was caught when I got my spare truck back from him and he left a condom wrapper in the back seat. So I had to burn the entire vehicle.

Penguin90125

#16 Onions.

Child not parent side of the story here, but still a fun one that I get a kick out of telling. Had my first “serious” girlfriend at 15. We would go to the backroom of the house to study.

In reality we’d screw each others brains out, and then I’d spend 15 minutes doing her homework for her. (Hey, she made honor roll that semester!)

Anyway, it’s about dinner time and we head out to the kitchen to discuss ordering a pizza with my parents. My dad is discussing toppings and mentions onions. Girlfriend says, “Eww. I don’t like onions. They give you bad breath.”

My father, not missing a beat, says, “Well that doesn’t bother me, but then I’m not the one screwing around in the back room.” I started laughing but I thought the girlfriend was going to die of embarrassment.

Fast_Sparty

#17 Kosher hot dogs.

I was around 17 and had a girl over for the weekend. My father was really cool about us and having the opposite sex over so when he saw us exiting my bedroom my father while standing in the kitchen asked us if we were hungry…

we both agreed that we were and he offered to make some kosher hot dogs. She said something along the lines of “Oh, I have never had kosher before.”

In which his response was ruffling my hair and saying “Oh yes you have.” Many cringes were had.

Mockedidol

 

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