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6 BS Movie Plots (Hollywood Keeps Insisting Are Realistic)

#1 No drug lets you fake your death.

Romeo + Juliet

Hollywood loves their fake death scenes. In fact, they’ve been in literature way back in Shakespearean times! The faux demise sequences are found in movies liked Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Miami Vice, 24, Chuck, Alias, and of course, Romeo + Juliet. There’s just one small, teensy little problem.

There’s no such chemical that lets you do that. You either die, or you don’t. You can’t be in an open relationship with death. That’s just not how it works. You have to commit.

#2 There’s no such thing as a “Photographic memory.”

Jason Bourne

In movies, there is often a typical “Photographic Memory” hero who can remember everything they see down to the very dot. As it happens, it’s often in Matt Damon movies with him either using his perfect memory to insult a college bully (Goodwill Hunting) or outsmarting the CIA (Jason Bourne). Except there’s no such thing in real.

Eidetic memory, however, is. And it’s less of a mental snapshot and more of an unstable chemical Polaroid. And it just means they have fantastic visual memory, rather than having total and perfect memory recall.

#3 A “Perfect” poison doesn’t exist

Disney

There’s always that one bad guy in Hollywood movies who is on the verge of creating the ideal poison. Fast acting, untraceable, uncurable, ultra-lethal. Sound familiar? Good guys and bad guys both use it. (Though often utilized by the villain in part of some dastardly plot).

Except that’s not how the body works. Every chemical causes a different reaction to every person. What’s lethal to one could be irritating, or downright healthy to the other. Milk is poisonous to those who are lactose intolerant, and I have a glass of this “toxic compound” every day. Poisons cause certain reactions in the body. Cyanide causes the shakes and a red flush, arsenic causes vomiting and people to soil themselves.

There’s also a particular dosage to take into account. A dosage that’s lethal to a small person is dangerous, but not life threatening, to a tall person.

#4 No drug makes you smarter

If you remember that 2011 Bradley Cooper movie, Limitless, then you’ll also know of the magical wonder drug known as NZT. It enhances your cognitive abilities and makes you smarter, gives you better memory, and turns you more charismatic. It provides you with the mind of 50 men in one.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but drugs like that aren’t real. Nootropics are the closest thing to it, and they don’t enhance anything. They simply make you less tired and less bored. They’re also labeled as “supplements” which means drug companies can fill them with harmless but expensive chemicals only to charge you more.

#5 Venting your anger makes you angrier, not calmer

Known as “The Catharsis Theory,” it states that venting your anger is healthier than keeping it in. It turns out, that’s not true at all. As scientists researched the phenomenon, they found that those people who took out their anger aggressively in one way or another handled their emotions more violently. It’s because the good feeling after breaking something for the pure sake of destroying it is you wallowing in the aggressiveness. So, movies like “The Purge” are absolute bollocks.

#6 Brainwashing is a myth

Captain America: Civil War

It started out as a cold-war propaganda with one side using brainwashing as an excuse to cause mass hysteria on the other side. It turns out; it’s not true either. Although, it is possible to convince someone to do things by pressuring them, like someone completely switching personalities due to some vague Russian trigger.

I’m looking at you, Civil War.

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