I know everyone has had to deal with a bridezilla at least once in their life. Momzilla, however, is much worse. You see a column by the name of Dear Prudence received a bizarre letter a few days ago. The column is actually a weekly advice column in Slate.
The shocking question was actually written by the mother of a bride. She explained why she doesn’t want her daughter’s best friend to be her bridesmaid. You might think the reason might be justified. It is not.
Here is her question.
My 27-year-old daughter and her best friend, Katie, have been best friends since they were 4. Katie practically grew up in our house and is like a daughter to me. My daughter recently got engaged to her fiancé and announced that Katie would be the maid of honor (Katie’s boyfriend is also a good friend of my future son-in-law).
The problem is that Katie walks with a pretty severe limp due to a birth defect (not an underlying medical issue). She has no problem wearing high heels and has already been fitted for the dress, but I still think it will look unsightly if she’s in the wedding procession limping ahead of my daughter.
I mentioned this to my daughter and suggested that maybe Katie could take video or hand out programs (while sitting) so she doesn’t ruin the aesthetic aspect of the wedding. My daughter is no longer speaking to me (we were never that close), but this is her big wedding and I want it to be perfect. All of the other bridesmaids will look gorgeous walking down the aisle with my daughter. Is it wrong to have her friend sit out?
She has a lot of contradicting statements in that question. Didn’t she say she is not that close to her daughter? Why care so much and for all the wrong reasons? However Dear Prudence, a.k.a. Writer Mallory Ortberg wasn’t going to let her get away with this.
Her response to the mother’s question was perfect. She showed absolutely no sympathy, which the mother doesn’t deserve anyway.
I am having a hard time wrapping my mind around this letter. I encourage you to reread it and to ask yourself that time-honored question, “Do I sound like a villain in a Reese Witherspoon movie?”
You are, presumably, sympathetic to your own situation and are invested in making sure that you come across as reasonable and as caring as possible, and yet you have written a letter indicting yourself at every turn. This girl is “like a daughter” to you, and yet you want to shove her to the side of your other daughter’s wedding just because she walks with a limp.
Your daughter’s wedding will be perfect with Katie as a full and honored member of the bridal party. A limp is not a fly in the ointment; it’s a part of Katie’s life. It is not only wrong to have asked your daughter to consider excluding her best friend over this.
It is ablest, and cruel, and it speaks to a massive failure of empathy, compassion, and grace on your part. You must and should apologize to your daughter immediately, and I encourage you to profoundly reconsider the orientation of your heart.
https://twitter.com/Nicole_Cliffe/status/905568531416211457
"Sweetie, can you PLEASE choose someone without a limp as your bridesmaid? It will ruin YOUR PERFECT day. We don't want that, do we?"
— Spider Safety Officer (@SquizzRadical) September 7, 2017
https://twitter.com/theshrillest/status/905578601038225408
i'm gonna let you know i have a mother very similar to this. she's not having a moral dilemma, she was looking for backup for her opinion.
— spark.polliwog.bruin (@spark_polliwog_) September 7, 2017
The mom is awful.
— Jake Tapper (@jaketapper) September 7, 2017
I'm a wedding pro. I could see this happening, no problem.
— Jen the Florist is mad as hell🦦🦦 (@cygirl) September 7, 2017
Anything that confirms it's the mom? For some reason at 1st reading I thought it was the father. In 2nd reading I wasn't sure. Either way 👎🏽
— Lisa (@1ifiona) September 7, 2017
I thought it was a man at first too but then rereading it I don't see why I thought that. Weird. You're not alone on that one though!
— jane, never leaving the house again (@JaneNX01) September 7, 2017