22 Tweets You Need To Show Your Boyfriend Right Now

I think it’s adorable how they can taunt and tease each other like that and still wanna jump each other’s bones at the end of the day

Girls want you to reply to their text messages before they send them, and for every second you take longer, the more they’re convinced you’re cheating on them.

To be fair, he asked her what she wanted to eat, and she said, “I don’t know”. The appropriate response is to serve her a heaping bowl of “Idk”.

She won’t be talking to you, she’s mad at you again, my friend, You’re going to have to think hard enough to elevate your philosophical thinking to a new level of understanding reality if you wanna figure out how to get her to stop being mad at you.

There’s no way in hell a guy is going to take pictures of you while you put on your make up. You know why? Because you said you’d be done three hours ago and he’s bored out of his mind. He’ll most likely take pictures when you hurry up, and that means you don’t look your best.

When your other you is more powerful than the normal you. It’s just a matter of time until you bring up that one thing he did at 4:02AM, on the 3rd of March, 2013, at his aunt’s house.

She’d be bursting with excitement when she gets to talk about her boyfriend. They’re crazy, but you know they’re affectionate.

She’s a goddess at dishing it out, but more like a teletubbie at taking a few hits. It’s all good, he’ll take everything he said right back the moment he realises he hurt your feelings. Then you can go right back at dishing it out on him.

“Why don’t you ever do something like that, Kevin? Why don’t you ever buy me flowers out of the blue and then take me on a vacation to Hawaii? Why can he do that and you can’t?”
“He’s a character in a movie and we have bills to pay.”
“But why?”

I’ll be honest, you gotta play it straight with us guys. There might as well be a dead body at the end of your shoe, and if you ask about how your boots look, we will say “Pretty good” and just never mention the dead guy again.

Things get pretty hot and heavy when you’re cuddling, and I don’t mean that in the form of an innuendo. I mean things literally become hotter. Can you blame him for wanting to be a little cooler?
Yes. Yes you can.

And then he notices and is about to get mad, so you turn on the puppy eyes and the pouts and bring yourself close to tears and you can see the anger deflate from him.
Girls win again, even when they ruin your shirt with makeup.

It’s not our fault that your hair is constantly going everywhere, on the bed, on the couch, even in the car. How does your hair even do that?

*Loud air horn blares throughout girlfriend’s retort*
Man, the boyfriend really messed up. You don’t call your girlfriend a bitch (even if she’s being one for no reason at all), unless you wanna get rekt.

Did he forget to get gas for the car? Did he forget to order food? Did he forget to walk to dog?
The possibilities are endless and you can just see all the scenarios skipping through her head.

When you’re used to him being mean to you, but then out of the blue, he says something nice, you just start to question everything. Is he being nice, is he trying to show affection, is he trying to apologise for something he did? The endless possibilities are mind boggling

“You can talk shit about me, I can take it, but don’t talk shit about my man”
These girls be crazy, but you know they love you.

What if he comes out looking like a rat? What if comes out looking better? The hair is everything and he can’t look worse because then he’d be ugly and he can’t look better because then he’d leave her.

He was so close. He went in for it a hundred and twenty three times and if only he persevered for a little more.
A moment of silence for our fallen comrade, as surely his girlfriend will yell at him for not figuring out what was wrong.

And that’s how a relationship should be, a man and a woman talking crap about other people together. That’s true love right there.

This tweet is so pure, my heart can’t take it.